and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
