return my video game
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
