It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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