who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
