yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
