I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize