i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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