Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize