I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
