Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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