he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize