I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
