I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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