Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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