too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
