he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize