Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
