quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
