apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
