he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize