there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
