shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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