yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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