then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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