He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
