How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
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My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
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You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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