he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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