Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
