well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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