Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
