That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
