She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
