i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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