in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
