It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
