I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
