I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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