i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My liver just had a heart attack.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
