they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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