I wanna bring you to show and tell
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
