Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
