So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
