they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
