I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
