My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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