You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
