my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.