they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You made out with two different species that night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My dick has a subreddit
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
