You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
