its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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