Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
