You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
