I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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