I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
