i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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