and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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