Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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