remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
