Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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