tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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