I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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